I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
