woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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