Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
