im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
