It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
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So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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