Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
