the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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