I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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