laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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