I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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