btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
