I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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