Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...

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  (310): My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one... http://tfl.nu/9s73
  Replies (6) Good night (555) Bad night (1027)
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  (559): View more from California

  he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.

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  (559): he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in. http://tfl.nu/5rdv
  Replies (20) Good night (1212) Bad night (1897)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?

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  (917 ): Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"? http://tfl.nu/0dpt
  Replies (15) Good night (567) Bad night (2764)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.

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  (407): Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama. http://tfl.nu/o21n
  Replies (59) Good night (811) Bad night (3671)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out

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  (410): a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out http://tfl.nu/89tu
  Replies (40) Good night (1674) Bad night (7321)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.

  (845): View more from New York

  She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?

  (914): View more from New York

  well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey

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  (914): My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener. (845): She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn? (914): well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey http://tfl.nu/elol
  Replies (49) Good night (6069) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.

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  (314): we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them. http://tfl.nu/5z6d
  Replies (37) Good night (6695) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3723) Bad night (1173)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"

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  (757): Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow" http://tfl.nu/vtnd
  Replies (8) Good night (2921) Bad night (789)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...

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  (423): Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight... http://tfl.nu/fo5y
  Replies (11) Good night (1525) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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  (904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x
  Replies (4) Good night (1393) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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  (905): 110% paid for our cab with a lap dance http://tfl.nu/ywar
  Replies (8) Good night (1508) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.

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  (701): Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why. http://tfl.nu/atie
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (434)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in

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  (248): its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in http://tfl.nu/50v1
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self

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  (423): Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self http://tfl.nu/t1xo
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (249)

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