Umm I'm too high to move.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16