Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'

(586): View more from Michigan

And I thought

(586): View more from Michigan

Fuck I do that shit every weekend

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(586): I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself' (586): And I thought (586): Fuck I do that shit every weekend http://tfl.nu/q5n0

Replies (1) Good night (1138) Bad night (619)
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(805): View more from California

As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!

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(805): As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!! http://tfl.nu/4n3e

Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (1355)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me

(224): View more from Illinois

RUN RUN RUN RUN

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(847): I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me (224): RUN RUN RUN RUN http://tfl.nu/a7sq

Replies (23) Good night (3346) Bad night (813)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup

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(918): it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup http://tfl.nu/9c9q

Replies (11) Good night (2304) Bad night (556)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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(321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv

Replies (19) Good night (1241) Bad night (4241)
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(315): View more from New York

She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...

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(315): She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this... http://tfl.nu/h8y9

Replies (50) Good night (12372) Bad night (1749)
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(419): View more from Ohio

We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball

(419): View more from Ohio

And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity

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(419): We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball (419): And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity http://tfl.nu/7q0o

Replies (35) Good night (5702) Bad night (1923)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week

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(303): I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week http://tfl.nu/xhkj

Replies (11) Good night (4285) Bad night (1672)
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(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(727): Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail? http://tfl.nu/rsvd

Replies (3) Good night (2067) Bad night (921)
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(847): View more from Illinois

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?

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(847): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT? http://tfl.nu/wczu

Replies (17) Good night (2605) Bad night (1411)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

do you want to shower with me?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower

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(973): do you want to shower with me? (215): only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower http://tfl.nu/5xd8

Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (349)
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(256): View more from Alabama

My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.

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(256): My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted. http://tfl.nu/wkzb

Replies (0) Good night (855) Bad night (255)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up

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(503): He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up http://tfl.nu/b7lo

Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (346)
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(954): View more from Florida

There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.

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(954): There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies. http://tfl.nu/lhs1

Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (347)
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(914): View more from New York

it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"

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(914): it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?" http://tfl.nu/v4gz

Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (293)

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