is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Quick, to the slutcave!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.