Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

(812): View more from Indiana

?

(646): View more from New York

Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

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(646): ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE! (812): ? (646): Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that? http://tfl.nu/5o1s

Replies (37) Good night (3646) Bad night (838)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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(306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b

Replies (8) Good night (3168) Bad night (686)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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(484): New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport http://tfl.nu/5bf4

Replies (40) Good night (4068) Bad night (579)
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(817): View more from Texas

she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'

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(817): she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!' http://tfl.nu/lcp1

Replies (14) Good night (5011) Bad night (991)
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(410): View more from Maryland

i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

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(410): i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv http://tfl.nu/8yma

Replies (17) Good night (4423) Bad night (813)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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(970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g

Replies (20) Good night (3261) Bad night (1304)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours

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(419): You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours http://tfl.nu/i7uw

Replies (2) Good night (2146) Bad night (731)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose

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(412): Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose http://tfl.nu/1rcv

Replies (9) Good night (3182) Bad night (785)
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(602): View more from Arizona

After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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(602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8

Replies (5) Good night (1939) Bad night (609)
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(714): View more from California

Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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(714): Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas. http://tfl.nu/rvqb

Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (1373)
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(512): View more from Texas

I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.

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(512): I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out. http://tfl.nu/qokz

Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (648)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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(314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9

Replies (11) Good night (717) Bad night (1365)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.

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(717): I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it. http://tfl.nu/i1s8

Replies (8) Good night (1619) Bad night (622)
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(513): View more from Ohio

You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"

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(513): You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest" http://tfl.nu/n3kn

Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (317)
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(720): View more from Colorado

If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.

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(720): If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit. http://tfl.nu/qufi

Replies (1) Good night (323) Bad night (181)

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