I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
