Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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