alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
