i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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