I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
