another moral hangover. fuck.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
