watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
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It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.