I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere