he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Someone shattered a urinal.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.