carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.