Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.