You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
