I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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