Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
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I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
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Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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