i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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