Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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