Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
