And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
