Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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