ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize