Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
