Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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