Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
