so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
