Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
