there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
