this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
