We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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