he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
