I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
