she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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