ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
