What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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