HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize