There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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