i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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