I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
are you so shy because you have an std?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
