In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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