Dude my mom stole all your condoms
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
