Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.