There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...