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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't read that magazine bro. I came in it

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers

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• (917): View more from New York City

  idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles

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