Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles