idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Screwed.edu
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
