Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
