remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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