And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
