the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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