My room smells like vodka and shame
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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