she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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