i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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